Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Case Against Late Night TV

So I was up wayyy tooo late the other night, taking advantage of the last few weeks of summer and the ability to sleep in without it being too much of a disruption to the flow of the next day.  It was late, way past when any good programming is on and well into the infommercial zone.  I believe infomercials pick this time of night because they know that anyone up and watching are probably folks who, at this time of night, are lacking good judgement.  And those commercials are compelling.  Filmed like a talk show, filled with testimonials, and the before and after picks...stunning.

So, there I was. In front of the TV, sucked into one of those programs.  It was like a trainwreck...I couldn't look away. When they got to the before and after pics, I was completely sold.  So much so, that I immediately planned a trip to the mall THE NEXT DAY to purchase said gadget at the AS SEEN ON TV store.  Who wants to wait for (or PAY) for shipping and handling when you can have instant gratification??

I bribed my kids with a promise of a visit to Happy Hour at Sonic and on the way decided to drive through a local neighborhood to have a look at a potential rental property. 

Here is where I ended up:

You know how they tell you that you can not tell the depth of a puddle from the surface, they are right.  Look at this unsuspecting puddle...

If I had my Nancy Drew detective wits about me, I would have seen that there are NO tire tracks coming out the other side of the puddle.  A clear indication that this unsuspecting body of water is like the Hotel California of roadside puddles. However, I did not have those facilities about me, I was more in a shop-a-holic tractor beam.  I was on a mission to get to the mall, with a few pitstops on the way.

It was a happy accident that my husband/hero had stayed in bed with a massive headache that day, thus he was home and although not feeling well, available to dig me out of the ditch.

After he assessed the situation, the process went like this: 

Lay out picnic blanket (that gratefully, I keep in the van), assign all children to gather rocks and gravel and pile it on the blanket.  Happily, with four children, many hands make light work.  =)

This was a very fun activity for our four year old who constantly asks to pick up rocks where ever we go.  There was great rejoicing on her part to find that she was allowed to pick up as many rocks as she wanted.  There was also some weeping and great sadness to find that she could not keep them, but that they were giving their life to get us out of the mud.

When the pile was large enough to make a difference but not heavy enough to strain any muscles, the blanket was picked up and the rocks were carefully poured into the abyss under the van with the prayer that they were going where they would be most useful (like under the tire!). 

There was a lot of "drive forward slowly, slowly..STOP!" and "Carefully, put it in reverse..go, go." "Turn your wheels the OTHER way!!" Lots of loving looks were exchanged between me and my hero.

Eventually (after about an hour of this tedious process), we were out of the ditch. It was minutes til happy hour ended, but now we were all in need of some refreshment (and perspective!) so I splurged and paid full price for slushes (and the very largest Strawberry Lime-Aid they could give me).  I also bought my hero a hot, delicious dinner from a well established burger joint before I headed on over to the mall.  Clearly, the drive into the ditch did not dissuade me or disconnect me from the shop-a-holic tractor beam.  (For your viewing pleasure: the 'just been muddin' look)

What was I after that was so compelling??!  If it works, I will post my own before and after pics. Stay tuned. 

***EDITED TO ADD~ This truly was written at the end of the summer, just before our lives went into a tailspin.  I am coming up for air now and hope to blog again more frequently.  The jury is still out on the above mentioned product.